Fade Into The Background...

"She looked so good in that white dress....
at the far end of the Isle...

Standing where I should be standing..
was some other man, on his face theres a smile..."

But see, she was always mine,
but I was never hers...
I mean I was never hers..
but I was always hers...
You feel me?

I mean I love her
but I dont even know where to begin

Just imagine with me, looking back in time
Every time I saw her, I'd feel at peace,
like when you hear a wind chime
the gentle ones, that sway softly
and seem like they make the wind rhyme

and time...
it never chose to stand still,
perhaps because I didnt cherish it
and it had a lesson to fulfill...
Kinda feels now like Lesson overkill...

See my heart would burst
as her words quenched my thirst
And I loved her first..
but she knew not my hearts deep devotion
For she thought my love,
just an overblown emotion

Infatuated with the idea
of amusing musings
and tidal waves of music moving
A tsunami of crashing feelings bleeding...
my heart stops beating...

I'ma miss her...

I mean I love her
but I Just dont even know where to begin

Cuz you see
I was never hers
but I was
always hers

you feel me?

See she smiled through her words...
colon dash parenthases -
or she winked at me
semi-colon dash...

....you feel me?

So i smiled back in words like
"How you doing sweety?"
"You alright out there lady?"
"Alls well on your end baby?"

Pchhhheeewww please
I aint callin nobody baby..

but i said it in my mind really...
cuz my mind chose to hide behind prudency
since my heart tries to play tricks on me
Like a game of hide and seek...
Success is keeping the game going...

Too bad now...
she beat me...

I mean I love her
but I still dont even know where to begin

I mean
I was never hers but I was always hers
and well...
we'll always be friends...

I mean.. will
"always be friends - "
be used when friendship ends
for the sake of brute reason
for the sake of new seasons

when feelings end seasons of love,
how do you measure...
measure our years???

I'm gonna measure it in excitement...
Rather than tears,
rather than fears -
rather than the hardships,
as my heart...
Tears...

See...
Every new things was like a dream come true
As if the meaning of a new word,
A new experience or article
Starting the relationship brand new

Every new line written in our
"notebook" of a relationship
was scribbled in what I thought was Sharpee ink-
You see:
because forever was on my menu...

Though i think
*never*
was the chosen venu....

But if you look at the Sharpee scribble
you'll see blotches of color,
corroding the words of our beautiful story
showing choppy tales to the world
only the two of us know it fully..
but even in me
the story's clearly fading...

Now I'm fading
as I think...
as I measure
as I count the ways..

countdown the days..
Till all I can do is smile...
and fade into the background.....
I'll say congratulations and...
I'll fade into ....

See I was always hers..
but I was never hers..
These are my words...

I wonder now what'll be hers??

You are Music...

Music is like a sedative
To the minds of the anxious
Ritalin to the worrisome
Humility for the cantankerous

Like a pacemaker to the heartless
You "Flow" to the beat you create
Cool, yet urgent
Because lives are at stake

Not only are you essential
Your effects are exponential
Both rhythm and beat
are what you dictate
whether standing or sitting
you vibrate all the seats
A triple entendre
Pulsatingly sweet

Soft hips, soft lips
all moving at random
a body in motion-stays in motion
your motus operandum
so you motion by promotion
of words sung in tandem

to the pace of a broken heart
Have you ever tried sleeping?
Heal the world
while you play on
like the waves on the tides
reaching for freedom
You are music
And our ears are your kingdom

Venting

Stop and think before you speak
or don't u understand the affects your words heap
you sow what you can't reap
you start what you can't finish
Your battle lines arent distinguished

This is war, and I’m a warrior
bred for this sort of intrigue
Yet you still choose to battle??
I am intrigued, to see
just how displeased
that smiling face of yours will be
at the end of this seeming contestation...
Now do you really think
I need ur constant deliberation
on a point thats about as steady
as the opinions of children,
homie you wile-in!

You ask me the same question
Consistently?
What are u expecting
a cookie?
A high five for ur efforts
or a golden star
your insistence on mentioning
carries with it the ability to fortify
yet equally undermine
Your sole/true intention

So I ask u this question?
Do you think me unhappy?
In my life and my possessions?
Do you see me as incomplete
in my chosen direction?
For if on the first,
if not Second, raising of the question,
you find my answers point in that same direction,
When will you remove your own head from your rectum?

No End, Just Continued Beginnings....

Theres no ends, just continuations of what began...

Someone said it was easier to just
start it from the top
but how?
I said it would be easier
to just start it and never stop
because
No one likes it when things come along
and you have to just let it end
why?
How bout if we just, let it be left alone
then there'd never be new beginings or ever again
an end...
See I'd like to be, positivistic
but first off thats not a word..
Its true but...
Most people in life are pessimistic
and exude all the negative feelings you've ever heard
but now..
Dont you feel, when dreams come along
that you could make them come true
but how?
If you take time to think it out and realize
that what's stopping it from being real
could be you..

Talking To Celebrity...

I've listened to your words,
I could say I've come to know your thesis,
but I dont study you sir,
I have a hard enough time studying Jesus
and since my personal life can be sus'
I know not to look down or snap conclusions
hence why I ask questions and I trust
you'll return the favor and spare me the delusions
I am in no way a fan
Fanatics tend to be unreasonable
As you know all bias'es aren't wrong
but when it twist the truth, well thats evil...

and I cannot expose myself to people
whose sole intention is to reap
what they've sown in soundproofed temples
"my soul to keep"

Yet I will acknowledge my affinity,
but be not confused, there is equal disdain
Becuz if you wanna be a star in Satans world,
Then when he comes knockin- why complain?
When he demands his payment-
Why remain?
If you disagree- the path is paved-
Take two steps in the other direction-
Then two more, and walk away...

I have much left I can say
but for now I've come to reason
that fame is a path oft traveled
Yet all its road leads to perdition